Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Monday, January 11, 2010

It never ends

Dual Ear infection to staph infection to bacterial infection... it never ends and E starts daycare next Monday; def not looking forward to what illnesses lie ahead.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Decisions, Decisions...

So I received an e-mail today from Kennedy's father letting me know that he and her step-mother will be purchasing a house in Craig Ranch in McKinney and that he would like for Kennedy to attend school out there as well. Unfortunately, this subject has been weighing very heavy on my heart for a while now. I know it's a year and half away, but it seems like time just flies by these days and before we know it she'll be in school. I've often thought about where she's going to go? Who is she going to live with once she starts? It's obvious that children need stability and thrive off routine...there's no way we could keep our current schedule once she starts school. But there's also no way that I could let her go and not see her everyday, or get her dressed for school, or take her and pick her up from school, or pack her lunch and write her little notes like Mommies do. We've talked about doing a week on and a week off, but I have absolutely no idea where I'm going to be in a year and a half. I don't know if we'll still be in Rowlett and Lindsey will be communting to UNT. Or if we'll be living far north somewhere to where both of us will be communiting half way. Or if we'll be living in Denton and I'll be communting or working from home or who knows, I may have to get a different job. I don't know. I don't know what to do and we both feel as if we need to make a decision soon. It's obvious that Heath and Crystal are currently more stable than Lindsey and I and probably will be until Lindsey finishes school and we settle down. I don't want to let my little girl go. I know that I will see her on the weekends and holidays and for a long period of time during the summer, but I don't know if I can live with that. This brings back horrible memories of being a product of divorce. I lived with my Dad and it was hard. My Mom missed out on a lot and I don't want to be that Mom. I want to be there for Kennedy everyday of her life. I don't know what the future holds...who knows, we may move to McKinney, which is actually half way in between everything and then we can do the week on week off thing. But right now... it's impossible to make a decision and that's so upsetting and overwhelming. :(