Pretty much the worst day ever...

My Dad called this afternoon while I was working so I wasn't able to answer and thank goodness I didn't because I checked the voicemail and it was him telling me that my Grandma Ruby has stage 3 breast cancer and I could tell he was starting to cry at the end of the message and it just totally broke my heart...1st to find out that my Grandma had cancer and 2nd to listen to my Dad cry. I didn't call back immediately because I was of course crying and trying to collect myself. But I eventually called and he and my Step-Mom gave me all the details. They suggested that I just maybe call or send her an e-mail instead of going over there like I wanted to because she hadn't told my Uncle Don yet. She didn't want to tell him at work, she wanted to wait until he got home. He lives with my Grandma and I didn't want to impose on their moment because I know things were probably going to be pretty devestating once he arrived. So I did as they suggested and sent her an e-mail and once I get Kennedy back this weekend we're going to go visit so she can see both of the kiddos. I told her in the e-mail it's so weird because I've had this really strong inclination that I need to spend time with her. I've been in her area a few times recently and I kept telling myself that I should drop by and surprise her, but I never did and I totally regret it now. And I've been telling everyone that sorry...but I'm spending Christmas w/my Grandma Ruby this year because I never get to and I have no clue what she's doing this year but I've already been telling everyone that. I don't know...just thought that was kind of special that she's been on my mind a lot lately. Anyway, this is a really hard time for me right now because she's very special to me and I've never had anyone close to me get sick or die or anything along those lines. For proof...my Great Grandparents are still alive! So I'm not really sure what to do with my emotions right now. I mean, she's an amazing woman and my hero and someone to totally look up to. She raised all 6 of her kids by herself while working 3 jobs at times. She can freaking sew you up a storm and make anything; she's so talented. She's so beautiful inside and out and she's the sweetest thing you'll ever meet...she would give you the shirt off her back even it was the only thing she had and you needed it. We would all be lost with out her. I seriously don't know what I would without your beans and your sun tea Grandma! I love you! :) So I just ask that anyone and everyone that I know send your thoughts and prayers this way because we need it.